| Unlock This | Do This |
| Hero Difficulty |
Beat all of story mode on Hard |
| Clown John Alternate Hero |
Beat all of story mode on Hard |
| Nikki Jameson Alternate Hero |
Get the top score on Nikki Jameson Pain Arena |
| Ken Nara Alternate Hero |
Get the top score on Ken Nara Pain Arena |
| Ben Mosely Alternate Hero |
Get the top score on Ben Mosely Pain Arena |
| Super John Alternate Hero |
Get the top score on Danny Witwer Pain Arena |
| Zombie John Alternate Hero |
Beat all of Story Mode on Normal or higher |
| G.I. John Alternate Hero |
Beat all of Story Mode on Easy or higher |
| Danny Witwer Pain Arena |
Beat 'Rooftop Battle' in Story Mode |
| Ken Nara Pain Arena |
Beat 'Brawl in the Sprawl' in Story Mode |
| Ben Mosely Pain Arena |
Beat 'Mosely, Round Two' in Story Mode |
| Nikki Jameson Pain Arena |
Beat 'Return of Suspect: Nikki Jameson' in Story Mode (You must defeat Nikki by draining her life bar. You cannot throw her into the pit.) |
| Lizard John Alternate Hero |
Beat Story Mode on the Hero Difficulty |
| Robot John Alternate Hero |
Collect all the cash in every level in Story Mode |
